


Dancing with Your Ghost

by hhf23



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, M/M, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhf23/pseuds/hhf23
Summary: On the same day each year, Steve turns on the record player and dances to his and Bucky's song
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	Dancing with Your Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> I recently began to listen to "Dancing with Your Ghost" by Sasha Sloan and this is what happened...I'm sorry😅I didn't use the whole song and all credits go to the amazing Sasha Sloan :)

**_Never got the chance_ **

**_To say a last goodbye_ **

Steve turned on the record player and began to sway to the music he remembered from back then. It’s been seventy years since the accident, since Bucky died. It’s 2011, he was now in a new world, out of time and alone.

Sighing, Steve let the music take over, imagining that Bucky was there with him, leading him through the dance. Tears filled Steve’s eyes as he remembered how Bucky used to spin him, dip him and sneak a kiss when no one looked when they went to the bar before they took on Hydra together.

_**I gotta move on** _

_**But it hurts to try** _

Clutching his dog tags, Steve moved in the same movement Bucky taught him to all those years ago. It was simple muscle memory. Easy. There was not a big issue, the only issue was Bucky wasn't there to dance with him.

As tears fell, Steve sat on the floor, turned off the record player and cried. He cried for his old life, his old friends and most importantly, Bucky. He tried to move on, forget his past. The thing is, Steve can’t. He can’t forget.

_**How do I love** _

_**How do I love again?** _

_**How do I trust** _

_**How do I trust again?** _

It’s been a long time, but Steve still regrets everything. Asking Bucky to stay with him and fight Hydra was the main regret he had. If he just allowed Bucky to go home honorably discharged because of his capture and experimentation, maybe, just maybe everything would’ve been okay.

Steve was introduced to the Avengers, none of them whom he found trustworthy. Maybe Thor, but no one else really. Clint was nice, but not really willing to trust. Natasha was closed off. Tony hated him, yet at times, Steve felt like the man was trying to hit on him. He never knew. Bruce, like Clint, was very kind, but scary due to his ability to get angry easily. All Steve knew was he couldn’t trust anyone.

**_I stay up all night_ **

**_Tell myself I'm alright_ **

**_Baby, you're just harder to see than most_ **

Steve lays in bed, awake every night. Sometimes, he roams around the Towers, aimlessly as he waits until sleep comes for him. No one asks, but Steve knows they wonder why.

Becoming closer with Natasha and Clint, Steve opened up to them about other things, but not Bucky. He didn’t find the right person to open up to about his history with Bucky. His heart aches to just tell someone, but it’s a struggle no one else can help him with. He has to fight this battle alone.

 _“It’s okay…”_ Steve tells himself. _“The pain will subside eventually. Just be Captain America and do what the world wants you to do...”_

Steve’s lingering pain and longing for Bucky never goes away.

**_I put the record on_ **

_**Wait 'til I hear our song** _

_**Every night I'm dancing with your ghost** _

On the same day of January, Steve put the record player into motion as he stepped into the common room when he thought everyone was asleep. He waited for that one song to come on. When it did, he began to move in the same rhythm Bucky taught him back when he was sixteen.

Waltzing around the room, Steve remembered Bucky’s hands holding his, the warm body that pulled him into a tight hug while they slowly danced to the music, smiling as they promised each other one thing. Till the end of the line. Till death did them part.

_**Every night I'm dancing with your ghost** _

The other Avengers noticed after a few years. They didn’t ask however. They suspected that there was a reason Steve was dancing alone, yet it looked like he was dancing with someone.

Natasha tried setting Steve up on dates, claiming he should dance with other women who he would possibly like. Steve however didn’t love anyone. He loved only three people. His mom, his dad and Bucky. Steve denied Natasha’s requests each time, not feeling ready to love anyone when he still is only stuck on one person.

**_How do I love_ **

_**How do I love again?** _

_**How do I trust** _

_**How do I trust again?** _

When Sam Wilson came into the picture, he quickly became Steve’s best friend. They told each other everything and Steve decided on one of his bad days to tell Sam about the way he copes and his feelings after Bucky’s death. Sam, bless the amazing soul doesn’t judge, but pulls Steve into a big hug and tells him it’s okay to do what he’s doing.

Walking around late at night, Steve sighed and sat next to the record player in the common room. Sam also, now an Avenger in training, lived in the Towers and walked in to get water, stopping as he watched Steve from the hallway. He watched as Steve turned on the radio, walking around in a circle until a specific song came on.

**_I stay up all night_ **

**_Tell myself I'm alright_ **

**_Baby, you're just harder to see than most_ **

Natasha and Clint snuck up to the same spot Sam was standing and watched. Steve held something in his hand and was humming softly, moving in relative time with the music.

“What’s he doing?” Clint asked. “He does this on the same day every year…”

“Yeah...I noticed. Just never wanted to ask since it seems personal.” Natasha whispered, watching as Steve did the waltz steps across the common room, soft 40s music playing.

“He’s dancing.” Sam said, stating the obvious while not sounding phased in the slightest.

“Yeah...we know that, bright guy. Why is he dancing though?” Clint hissed, watching in confusion as Steve held onto an invisible body.

“Now what is he doing?” Natasha whispered.

“Did he tell any of you about someone from his past named Bucky Barnes?” Sam asked.

“You asked him?” Clint asked, somewhat shocked that Sam had the guts.

“No. He told me himself when we hung out.” Sam replied, giving a sad look to the others. “This day means a lot to him. It’s best if we don’t speak to him about it unless he talks to us first.”

It suddenly clicked for Clint and Natasha. The stories they learned, visiting. the Smithsonian. Bucky Barnes was his childhood best friend who died in a train raid back in January 1945. It was a major impact on everyone including Steve. He was dancing to honor the death of his best friend. Immediately, they felt a pain in their chest for Steve, knowing the end result of each dance with the ghost of his friend.

“You’re right.” Natasha replied, following Sam and walking away with Clint following close behind her.

**_I put the record on_ **

_**Wait 'til I hear our song** _

**_Every night I'm dancing with your ghost_ **

Steve imagined Bucky in his arms, dancing with him, giggling as Steve fumbled over his own two feet. The warm smile and rosy cheeks Bucky always wore when they danced made Steve smile each time.

 _“See? You can dance, Stevie!”_ Bucky said to him. _“You dance better than any dame.”_

 _“No...I can’t!”_ Steve would whine. _“You’re just saying that.”_

 _“But I mean it.”_ Bucky had answered, spinning Steve and dipping him. _“No one dances with me like how you do...”_

Steve would squeal each time no matter how many times he knew it would happen. He also would giggle when Bucky would nuzzle his nose against Steve’s neck, causing him to blush profusely.

He would also place Steve on the tops of his feet and slow dance with him, keeping his arms wrapped around Steve, whispering constantly about how much he loved him until their song ended.

 _“I’ll always love you...till the end of the line.”_ Bucky would whisper, kissing the soft, blond hair.

 _“I’ll always love you too, Buck...”_ Steve would whisper back, hugging Bucky as tightly as he could.

**_Every night I'm dancing with your ghost_ **

Opening his eyes, Bucky was no longer there. Steve clutched the dog tags around his neck, choking out a sob as he melted to the floor. “I miss you, Buck…” he whimpered, holding his dog tags tightly, opening his pocket watch and looking at the only picture he had of Bucky. “I hope you enjoyed the dance…”

**_Every night I'm dancing with your ghost_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Also find me on Tumblr @marvelwrites02


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